'Model husband' shatters image of love

By Yang Wanli, He Na and Zhang Lei (China Daily) Updated: 2014-04-02 08:41

Soaring divorce rate

Wen Zhang (right) and Yao Di in the TV serial Naked in Marriage. Wen has admitted that they have been having an affair. [Provided to China Daily]

Even though public opinion appears to have come down firmly in favor of Ma - a 38-year-old who gave birth to her second daughter in February - the divorce rate is rising rapidly.

10,000 marriages
-- the number that end in China every day

3.1 million families
-- the number of couple who divorced in 2012, a rise of 133 percent from 2003

65 percent
-- rise in the number of divorce in Beijing from 2011 to 2013

Statistics from Beijing Maple Women's Psychological Consulting Center show that the number of consultations involving divorced couples or those on the verge of divorce doubled from 1992 to 2013, with nearly 50 percent of the cases related to unfaithful husbands.

The center's research found that men between the ages of 31 and 50 are the most likely to have extramarital affairs. "Men of that age are relatively wealthy, and their mature personalities are attractive. After many years of marriage, they are also likely to have grown tired of the relationship," said Na Lixin, the director of the center.

Nearly 10,000 marriages end in China every day and statistics from the Ministry of Civil Affairs reveal a rapid rise in the divorce rate during the past decade. In 2012, 3.1 million couples got divorced, a rise of 133 percent from 2003.

Wang Xiuquan, a senior marriage lawyer at Beijing Chang'an Law Firm, said there is no available nationwide data detailing the number of extramarital affairs that prompted divorces, "but in the cases handled by my firm, extramarital affairs are definitely the most-cited cause, and account for more than 70 percent of all divorces."

The rising social status of women, who now have improved educational backgrounds and greater economic independence, has seen a sharp rise in the number of them having extramarital affairs.

Contrary to speculation that extramarital affairs invariably involve abandoned wives and "gold-digging" young women, sex is only one of the driving forces, according to Wang.

"When pursuing a partner, people often try to show their merits and may even pretend to be more caring than they really are, but usually their shortcomings are exposed after they get married. Trivial complaints, quarrels, a lack of attention and care on both sides, and the sometimes fraught relationship between mothers- and daughters-in-law are among the fundamental causes of failed marriages," he said.

Wang cited one instance where a man fell out of love with his wife of many years. The man had an affair with his secretary, which humiliated his wife, who worked for the same company. She proposed divorce and made a claim for the couple's property as compensation. However, when the husband fought the claim, and began investigating his wife's behavior, he discovered that she had also had affairs.

"For people like them in their 50s who have already fallen out of love, the earlier they get divorced, the more liberated and relaxed they feel," Wang said.