I feel my friends are leading happier lives

Li Heng, 31, is third officer on the MV Tianbaohe.

In 2010, I graduated from Tianjin University of Technology with a degree in navigation studies. Because of my major, I decided to become an able seaman.

The job suits me because I don't mind the loneliness and boredom onboard ship. I often watch movies or read novels after work and never feel bored.
I earn about 15,000 yuan ($2,288) a month, which is satisfactory. However, I'm unhappy about several things.

When I first started work, I had definite goals, such as completing my internship in a year instead of 18 months, and becoming a third officer a year later.

But achieving these ambitions took far longer than I expected, and I began to understand that there is a gap between imagination and reality. I still have some expectations about my job, but not too many.

I face other problems now, such as not having a girlfriend. I was in a relationship about two years ago, but my girlfriend's father was admitted to the hospital while I was away at sea, so I wasn't around to help them.

Later, she called to break up with me. She said I wasn't right for her because she needed a boyfriend who could be with her and help her. I am still single, and in my home in rural Tianjin a single man of my age is regarded as belonging to a different species.

Although I don't really want to spend long periods away from home, I have no choice－I have to work to earn money. Despite the difficulty finding a girlfriend, I can't really change my job because I lack other skills.

The work is quite tough, but I can handle it. Every job becomes hard work after a while, but whenever I complete a complex task, such as steering the ship, I feel a real sense of achievement.

If you asked whether I am happy with my work, I would say "no" because I feel my friends are leading happier lives, even though some of them earn less than me. They often post photos of their travels and vacations on WeChat, but I have never posted a picture on social media.

As time passes, I find that my friends and I have fewer and fewer topics in common to discuss. I'm quite a chatty person, but the long absences and lack of contact has resulted in society leaving me behind－I have no idea about current trends and don't know what is popular.

My parents are in their 60s, and I hope to make more money in future to look after them, so I'm working hard to gain a promotion and a salary raise.

Li Heng spoke with Jiang Chenglong.