Things are changing, but only very slowly

Stay-at-home dads are not a totally new phenomenon, but conducting interviews on the topic has planted a seed of change in my concept of parenting.

I met Wu Xinhai at a coffee shop in Beijing.

He was dressed in sports clothing and planned to play soccer with a friend when our interview ended. His lifestyle beat all my expectations.

I used to think that stay-at-home dads were always exhausted and worried as a result of family issues or conflicts.

Instead, Wu was talkative and extraverted, giving me the feeling that he had everything under control. That made me eager to learn his secrets.

Taking care of and educating children is not as easy as some people believe－it isn't just a case of feeding and dressing them and keeping them safe.

In addition to handling various child-related issues, parents need to conquer the sense of helplessness and anger, agitation and lack of confidence among those around them.

On March 12, a 29-year-old mother from Changfeng county, Hefei, Anhui province, jumped to her death from a building－killing her 4-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son in the process－as a result of family conflict and marital discord, according to local media.

The woman's family said she had not worked for five years as she had stayed home to care for the children. Media reports claimed that her in-laws had criticized her for not contributing financially and for expecting her husband to pay for everything.

This story suggests that some families still believe that taking care of children is the sole responsibility of one partner in a couple.

That is especially true of some fathers and seniors who are still in thrall to the traditional Chinese axiom: "A man works outside and woman works inside."

The saying promotes the idea that there is something shameful about a man staying home and caring for the kids, and it neglects the fact that, in many cases, the person who gives the most is often not recognized or is even taken for granted by the family.

It is a great sacrifice for stay-at-home parents to give up their hobbies and social life to focus on their children, so their efforts should be appreciated.

In 2019, a survey of 1,987 young married people conducted by China Youth Daily showed that more men (52.4 percent) than women (45.8 percent) approved of the stay-at-home dad philosophy.

With more and more educated young people becoming parents, I am pleased to see that the situation is gradually improving.

The number of stay-at-home dads in China is still small, but young parents are participating far more actively in all aspects of their children's development.