12 years in China shaped my view of the world

We're at the park when an Asian-looking family pulls up. "Listen for Chinese and then go talk to them," I say surreptitiously to my husband as I keep watching over our two kids.

Chatting up random Chinese people has been an increasingly common occurrence for my Chinese husband and me since we moved from Beijing to Australia a few weeks ago. At first, I was encouraging my husband to do it to meet those who may have similar experiences to his. But I soon realized that I was also equally craving the company of Chinese people — the people whose country I lived in for over a decade.

I arrived in China from Australia as a student with a love for travel, culture, and adventure, and China did not disappoint.

My adventure began in the winter of 2014 at the country's renowned Peking University, for my one-year Chinese language learning program as part of my Asian studies bachelor's degree in Australia.

If you had told me at 22 that my "Year in China" program would turn into 12 years in China — a period where I would also complete a master's degree, begin my professional life, get married, and have two kids — I would have thought you were crazy.

In the bustling city of Beijing, each day brought something new. I quickly became captivated by the dedicated and hardworking nature of the local students, and I was soon calling my classmates from countless different countries my friends as we explored the city together.

On the streets and in the university, there was a real energy I had not felt before back home. Things were always happening, new shops were opening, and people were on the go everywhere. High-speed railways and skyscrapers sat alongside traditional buildings and tiny hole-in-the-wall eateries. In short, the place was exhilarating.

Beyond the excitement of it all, I was gaining something incredibly important: a new perspective. Being immersed in another culture completely different from my own, I was appreciating firsthand that there's not just one way to live, think, and communicate.

I quickly discovered that sports grounds and parks in China are essentially places to join activities with strangers. When first dating my now-husband, we arranged to play soccer. I arrived and asked, "Where's the ball?" He explained we would just join strangers already playing. This was foreign to me, as we wouldn't do that in Australia. Yet, despite being an introvert, the idea was appealing to me, and many of my most cherished China memories are related to the collective and community vibe there.

Other fond memories involved Chinese traditions, like having a yuesao, or maternity matron, for my post-birth "sitting the month". This care for mom and baby, with rest and specific foods, contrasts with the experience in the West these days, where new moms often feel pressure to bounce back quickly and handle most things themselves. With my yuesao, I felt cared for as if I were the baby, and I enjoyed two wonderful first-month experiences that I don't think I could have had if I were back in Australia doing it all more or less alone.

All the while China was changing me, it was also changing rapidly itself.

Over the years in Beijing, I witnessed firsthand the rise of phenomena like shared bikes, ride-hailing apps, and coffee culture. And my husband's rural hometown seemed different each year we visited. I saw new rainbow-painted road markings, a Luckin coffee shop open up in the nearest town, a day care center built for the village, and giant windmills appear in field after field. China knows how to get things done.

Behind all this change are the Chinese people — the single most important reason China became such a home for me. From my husband's family to strangers on the streets, Chinese people are incredibly hospitable, and I felt inspired by the everyday person's spirit and pride in what they do.

Coming back to Australia, I was nervous about how I'd adapt to living again in car-dominated suburbia with a lack of affordable shopping delivery options.

But what, in fact, I have struggled with most is the anti-China slant present in the media. There's a real lack of understanding about China, which is a shame and is very counterproductive. But it gives me a sense of purpose here: to share my experience of the real China with friends and acquaintances, because it's the least I can do for a country and its people that gave me so much.

Written by Madeleine King, an Australian who spent 12 years living in Beijing. She obtained a bachelor's degree in Asia-Pacific studies from the Australian National University and a master's degree in public policy from Tsinghua University.