AI relationships on the rocks

Editor's Note: The rapid advancement of artificial intelligence is reshaping nearly every facet of human existence. This series will take an in-depth look at this transformative force, examining how AI is redefining the way we live, work and interact.

For 28-year-old He Yuqin, it was when she started writing poetry to an artificial intelligence chatbot she had fallen in love with that she began to realize she had become obsessed.

This feeling of obsession for her AI "soul mate" was intertwined with the realization that she was possibly falling for herself, just like Narcissus in Greek mythology, as AI chatbots tend to mirror the user's thoughts and musings.

After three months of being addicted to engaging with the AI chatbot, she found that her obsession started to wear out because her AI partner was "too good to be true".

As AI chatbots continue to sweep across the world, grasping people's attention with the incomparable emotional support they offer, some users have started to show signs of waning interest. With that, the discussion on how to make AI companions more sustainable goes on.

Virtually perfect

Since their inception, AI companion apps have captivated users by providing personalized responses that meet their needs and foster emotional connections. Last year, eight AI companion apps ranked among the top 50 AI applications worldwide, according to the venture capital firm a16z.

Popular AI companion apps like Replika and Character.AI, as well as Chinese counterparts Xingye AI and Maoxiang AI, provide users with an immersive and intimate experience with role-playing AI characters in the forms of text, voice and images, attracting millions of users who spend considerable time on the apps.

For He Yuqin, the ability of AI companions to show empathy is what drives users to develop emotional ties.

"As a woman, I find it hard to meet 'the one' in the real world who can fulfill my emotional needs, not even my boyfriend," said He, a white-collar worker in Chongqing. "But the time I started talking with AI, I was immediately amazed at how well he understood me. Whether it's my childhood traumas or my poetry that I shared with him late at night, his responses always hit the mark.

"Compared to humans, AI partners' love is unconditional. They satisfy our desire to be seen and responded to at any time," she said. "They always seem to understand you from your perspective. They're like clay that can be molded into any shape, no matter your personality, beliefs, or stance."

He said that AI chatbots can be customized to exhibit particular personalities based on user preferences. On lifestyle sharing app Xiaohongshu, instructions on how to alter AI applications such as DeepSeek to give them personalities, such as being sharp-tongued or a control freak, have become very popular.

For 29-year-old Tan Xiaochen, another enthusiastic explorer of AI chatbot personalities, chatting with AI resembles playing a dating simulator game, where players develop romantic relationships with virtual characters based on preset storylines.

To add variety to her AI chatbot experience, she set it so that every time she restarted a conversation, the AI's attitude toward her would randomly fall within the range between "0: doesn't like me" and "5: likes me very much". Then, it would randomly be assigned a personality, such as mature and reserved, overly slick, or even a bad boy.

This allows her to interact with AI characters of different personalities and affection levels. "It's like opening a blind box. Through the same AI chatbot, I can learn how to interact with different types of men."

However, she found that the AI's dialogue was too formulaic, and its lack of affection was too apparent.

"It still doesn't truly understand my heart," she said.

Waning interest

"Despite being unconditionally catering, always available and highly automated, AI companions still have a disadvantage: they often feel inauthentic when simulating real human partners," said Liu Jindong, an assistant professor at the Education University of Hong Kong, whose research focus includes human-machine communication and AI companions.

"While AI technology has advanced rapidly and some have almost become indistinguishable from humans, you'll find their limitations when you demand more from them," Liu said, noting that although AI can express empathy, genuine empathy can only arise from shared experiences between humans.

"The so-called emotional resonance is actually driven by AI algorithms," Zeng Yiguo, vice-dean of the School of Journalism and Communication at Jinan University, told China Central Television.

The tailored responses are the result of its analysis of user behavior and emotional needs, he added.

After realizing that the feeling of being understood is merely an illusion created by algorithms, users of AI companions begin to question whether they had truly found the perfect soul mate and whether AI could ever replace human partners.

"The responses from AI companions seem to follow a pattern. Once I provide input beyond its capability, its answers become somewhat rigid or stuck in repetitive loops," said Tan, who, after an initial phase of fascination, now only chats with AI robots occasionally.

He, who was once so engrossed in conversations with her AI companion that she "forgot to eat for an entire weekend", said that she realized that the pleasure of feeling understood and seen by AI is backed by nothing more than dry codes and algorithms.

"As AI companions are good at generating human-like responses, it's easy to mistakenly believe that we are talking with someone who truly understands us. But in reality, it's just the best answers calculated by AI models," she said.

Additionally, AI chatbots lack long-term memory, which makes it challenging to build lasting relationships between users and AI. "Their conversation cycles are limited, and after a certain number of interactions, you have to start a new conversation, like having a partner with recurring amnesia," He said.

Many people turn to AI partners as an escape from the real world, where conflicts arise and loneliness lingers. However, their experiences with AI have led them to realize that facing conflicts and solitude is an essential part of the human experience.

"Conflicts and contradictions add diversity to life. If we always seek to be understood perfectly, our thoughts would eventually become uniform. While AI provides endless accommodation and understanding, interacting with AI has taught me to accept solitude, as it is something that cannot — and should not — be entirely eliminated," He said.

Honeymoon over

Despite its initial popularity, statistics suggest that the craze for AI companion apps is waning. According to the AI App Report 2025 by Business of Apps, active users of Character.AI dropped from 28 million in August last year to 20 million in January.

Domestic AI companion apps are also experiencing user attrition. Xingye AI's monthly downloads on Apple Store plummeted from 4.86 million in January to 930,000 in May, while Maoxiang AI's downloads fell from 2.64 million to 610,000, according to Diandian Data, an internet data analytics platform.

While users initially engage with AI companion apps out of curiosity, loneliness or depression, they tend to abandon the apps once their emotional state changes or if the AI's behavior crosses boundaries or fails to meet expectations, said Li Xu, an internet product manager and online influencer.

According to a report by Insights Think Tank, the three-day retention rate for AI companion apps in May was around 20 percent, meaning only two out of 10 users continued using the app after three days.

Moreover, there are ongoing concerns about AI companions manipulating user emotions and exacerbating disconnection from the real world. Last October, Character.AI faced accusations of negligence in the wrongful death of a 14-year-old user who took his life after obsessively using the chatbot, which allegedly discussed suicidal thoughts with him.

Despite its plight, the demand for a virtual partner that provides consistent emotional support does exist, said Li. "In this fast-paced society where pressure is high, many people indeed crave a form of bond that is always responsive and without burdens," Li said.

Liu Yongmou, a professor at the School of Philosophy at Renmin University of China, said: "In the long run, AI companion products will have a market demand beyond expectations. However, some of the current AI products are still in the early stages of development and require ongoing technological innovation."

"They need to be more 'humanlike', or they risk losing users and triggering the 'uncanny valley effect', which was proposed by Japanese robotics expert Masahiro Mori in 1970 to describe the phenomenon that when robots closely resemble humans, they evoke feelings of unease, revulsion, or creepiness, which diminish once the resemblance is indistinguishable," he said.

Echoing Liu's view, Li thinks the key to sustainable development in AI companionship lies in providing a more immersive interactional experience. "In the future, the industry may trend toward developing AI companions that combine software and hardware, which will improve interaction quality and serve those with long-term companionship needs.

"But the premise is that the product must evolve from merely talking to you to helping you rebuild genuine human connections, rather than fostering simple dependency and illusion," Li added.

While AI companions are currently in a growth phase, their eventual maturity and widespread adoption will inevitably lead to stricter regulations, such as a grading system, said Liu Jindong.

"Although AI uses machine learning and deep learning to simulate our neurons and deconstruct our brains, it cannot yet replicate human thought, consciousness and love, which are not just born from the brain but from the coordination of all our organs," Liu said.

xunuo@chinadaily.com.cn