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Proliferation of 'grandparenting' reveals generation gap

(Xinhua)
Updated: 2008-10-18 16:06

BEIJING -- Grandparents are playing a greater role in raising kids in China's big cities while parenting differences between the two generations worries experts.

A new survey report released by Shanghai Women Federation showed that, in half of the families polled, grandparents bore the main responsibility for raising children.

In two-thirds of the families, grandparents and parents couldn't reach an agreement on how to raise the child, according to the survey that covered 2,000 households in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou.

It also showed in Shanghai, 65 percent of young parents spent less than three hours with their children each day.

It is common in the country that both parents work. After a legal 90 day maternity leave, female workers go back to work, leaving them with limited time with their child.

In addition, young couples lack of knowledge and experience in child-rearing also led to more cases of grandparents raising their grandchild, according to experts who found the usually different parenting methods between the two generations worrisome.

The elderly, for instance, preferred to raise infants according to their experience. Young people, in contrast, tended to trust books, experts and Internet information more.

"I found the way I instruct my grandson is quite different from my son," said Zhou Ren, a grandfather in Guilin, a tourist city in the southwest Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region.

For example, he always reminded his grandson Songsong to take specific books to school. He also checked his schoolbag to ensure the order was followed, while his son left the boy to do all this himself.

Zhou said he felt an obligation to satisfy his grandson's demands and keep him safe.

Many grandparents felt the same. Usually they would buy various toys and snacks for their grandchildren and escort them to school.

The elderly, however, seldom paid close attention to children's psychological health and needs, said Yue Shanyao, a Shanghai Academy of Educational Sciences researcher.

A grandmother surnamed Zhi in Shanghai said she had devoted painstaking efforts to her four-year-old granddaughter. The little girl's unsocial behavior at an kindergarten occasion, however, disappointed her a lot.

Yue believed grandparenting had its advantages.

Compared with the young, the elderly had more time and patience to raise kids. The process would also make the elderly feel their life was enriched.

"The key problem of grandparenting is how to make the elderly find a scientific and suitable way to raise children with their experience," he pointed out.

To improve grandparents' way of instructing children, the Shanghai University for Senior Citizens was offering the course "grandchildren education."

"The course aims to help the elderly get rid of the long-standing mistaken ideas of parenting and create a more interactive educating mode with their grandchildren," Yue said. "The course might just serve as worthy try."