Mine is mine, yours is mine

"A number of Chinese women try to control their husband's possible extramarital relations by controlling their financial resources, and thereby acquiring a feeling of safety," Qu says.

Infidelity is one of the top reasons for divorce in China, and the country's divorce rate has been on the rise for years.

Yang Jinghuai shares happy times with his wife Zhao Li and daughter Yang Shiyuan at the Summer Palace in Beijing. Provided to China Daily

In 2011, according to the Ministry of Civil Affairs, 2.87 million couples got divorced, a 7.3 percent increase over the previous year's figure.

Squabbles over money and property can contribute to a divorce, but they're rarely the main reason couples split up, say divorce lawyers.

"Money is a factor in any long-term relationship, much like who will do the dishes," says Huang Rui, a divorce lawyer with Shanghai Promise law firm. "But those marriages that fail over money were most likely bound to fail anyway."

Bank instruments like China Merchants Bank's "capital accumulation" service have been around since at least 2010, and Huang thinks they can actually be helpful.

"I can foresee situations where this account is held by the party having a better track record of sound financial management, therefore helping him to make decisions based on an aggregate view of the accounts," she says. "It will also save time and energy running around different banks."

But what happens when a couple who signs up for such a service gets a divorce one day?

All the income they've accumulated since marriage is considered joint property - no matter whose account it's in, Huang says. The court will rule on the division of their existing money and property, and a "capital accumulation" service will have no bearing on this process, she says.

Yang Xiaolin, a divorce lawyer in Beijing, disagrees and says it can lead to legal complications if the wife moves the man's money into a secret account yet tells the court she has spent it all. At the same time, the husband may have his own hidden account.

Professionals that help couples deal with practical matters - be they therapists, lawyers or bankers - all say that communication, honesty and teamwork are keys to a successful financial relationship.

From the outset, husbands and wives should be very clear over how they're going to handle their money, says Hsiao-yun Lee, CEO of Societe Generale's private banking arm in China.

Whether the wife or husband ends up in charge of the finances, major decisions, like buying a house or sending children to school overseas, should be made together in any healthy partnership.

A person who is good with financial affairs will not necessary also have good judgment on other matters, Lee says.

Wei Haoran and his wife might be able to relate to this.

He is the one who strategizes long term, while she pays all their monthly bills and makes the day-to-day spending decisions. Every month, the couple saves a part of their salaries into a third bank account.

So, would he be interested in the convenience offered by a "capital accumulation" service?

"No," Wei, 31, says. "It will be a disaster for me.

"Whenever she wants to buy something, I give her advice but leave it up to her to make the final decision," says the English teacher. "But when it comes to what I want to buy, there are always excuses why I can't do it."

Men know that marriage will restrict some of their freedom, but there are days they may want to take back their ATM cards and feel like they're still the bosses in the family.

Contact the writer at tiffany@chinadaily.com.cn.

Sun Ye and Han Bingbin contributed to this report.