Home / China / Cover Story

Courses for true love run smooth

Updated: 2011-01-20 08:25

By Hu Yongqi, Duan Yan and Liu Ce ( China Daily)

Comments

Mail

Large Medium Small

Zhao Yongjiu during a counseling session in Beijing. He has advised more than 300 single women in the past two years. [Photo/China Daily]

Spying an opportunity

Experts say that traditional attitudes and a lack of time are the biggest obstacles facing young people in their search of partners.

Almost 60 percent of those polled for the 2010 National Report on Marriage said their social interactions are limited to a small group of friends and colleagues, with about 42 percent said they do not actively pursue mates. (The China Association of Marriage and Families Research and Baihe Marriage Research Institute published the report last December.)

"I'm busy with work; also I'm shy and don't know where to meet guys out of my work circle. My introverted personality is a big obstacle, too," complained Beijing nurse Liu Zhiming, 30. "I also don't see why women should take the initiative. If she does, men won't take her very seriously."

Such concerns are held by many of those who sign up to Lu Ye's training courses for single women (this year's will be in South China's Guangdong province). For 57,000 yuan, he promises to teach students how to start an intimate relationship with a man within 70 days.

The program is based on strict military-style techniques and is mainly about getting to know men in a short amount of time. Lu compares his course to spy training.

"In extreme cases, a good spy can get to know a lot of key information about a subject in just 15 minutes," he explained. "An average woman wouldn't even find any important information from a guy she lived with for three or four years."

After seven days of theory, Lu requires each trainee to complete "field assignments", which involves going to hotspots for potential husbands to get a list of at least nine candidates.

"Some go out for job interviews, some go traveling, some go to study abroad," he said before boasting that one student, who was 28, successfully managed to marry a billionaire after taking his course.

For the vast majority of his clients, marriage is the goal, he said. "Even a millionaire I taught wanted to marry a man richer than her. None of these women ever wanted their husbands to find out they took lessons, of course."

However, when it comes to pickup training for men, Lu suggested they do not start too early and instead focus on their careers. "If men really want to learn, it's more appropriate for them to learn after they are 30," he added. "Women, however, need to start searching for husbands much earlier."

The names of some interviewees have been changed on request.

'Lessons in love have given me more choice'

Editor's note: Xu Tang (not his real name), 28, works at a State-run corporation in Beijing. He has been studying pickup tricks since 2009.

After graduating Tsinghua University, I become an extremely stay-at-home kind of guy. That changed two years ago when I found a copy of the Pickup Artist online. It quickly changed my view about relationships with women.

Last August, I joined a boot camp for wannabe pickup artists in Lijiang, Yunan province. It cost about 12,000 yuan ($1,800), which included tuition, flight tickets, food and accommodation for nine days.

After three days of lectures, I was strolling along a street and met a beautiful woman. I used some of the tricks I'd learned on the pickup artists course and struck up a conversation.

We spent the night together and, later, I returned to Beijing.

That experience entirely changed the way I interact with women. Before, I didn't have time to go out to meet a girlfriend because of all the theses I had to write and other work. The boot camp taught me the know-how to communicate with girls, especially ones I like.

Pickup artists need to be well dressed, with a good hairstyle, and have effective icebreakers to strike up conversations, like "Is this seat taken?" or "I've been watching you and I'd regret it if I missed the chance to meet you". The next step is developing common interests.

Now I'm satisfied with my relationships with women because I have more choice to find the one I can spend the rest of my life with.

Most of my friends don't like the idea of pickup artists, but I believe there's nothing wrong. It depends on who uses the skills and how. I have a regular girlfriend and several close female friends.

Although, from my experience, I strongly suggest people consult with relationship counselors so that errors and mistakes can be avoided.

Xu Tang was talking to Hu Yongqi.