In the West, we have become wearily familiar with people who confuse attempts to achieve equal treatment for sexual minorities, such as gay and transgender people, with tyrannical attempts to outlaw the freedom of opinion of anyone disagreeing with such liberalization. I note that, on May 18, Hong Kong also saw a demonstration against gay and transgender marriages. Yes, some of the banners were not explicit about this - they carried slogans such as "I love parents, I love family" and "Every child has a dad and mom". Uncontroversial, you'd think. We can all get exasperated with our families, but very few of us really hate them. And I think we all know how children are conceived and born.

But everybody understands the underlying message. There are in fact different kinds of families, not all of which consist of dad, mom and kids. Some are altered by death, some by breakdown. And some people simply do not fit the heterosexual template. Should they be debarred from participating in the mutual support network of marriage and family? Or would such participation in some way "devalue" those essential institutions?

I am a Christian, heterosexual and married. I see the Christian faith as concerned with how people treat each other, rather than as a means of regulating people's sex lives. I love my family too, including my son, 25, who happens to be homosexual. He is a lovely, thoughtful, considerate lad with a loving partner, with whom he has been together for more than four years. Should they decide to marry, I will be just as happy as I would in the case of my other (heterosexual) son. I certainly do not see why the marriage of two loving gay people should in any way devalue my marriage or that of any other heterosexual couples.

Most conservatively inclined people believe that marriage is a valuable building block of society. I agree. Why, then, deny it to a small but significant minority of the population?

I understand that Chinese culture, though not proceeding from the same roots as Christian culture, has problems with homosexuality. Most parents - I am no exception - would like to see their grandchildren. In ancient China, where the cult of ancestors was a fundamental part of Confucianism, I can see why people would fear having no descendants to sweep their tombs during Qingming Festival. But, firstly, Chinese culture recognizes adoption as do other cultures, meaning that people who, for whatever reason, are unable to have their own children are still capable of producing descendants; and secondly, there is absolutely nothing that anyone can do to influence their children's sexual orientation, even in a highly conformist culture such as that of China.

I think it is a fair assumption that China, including Hong Kong, has proportionately as many gay people as the rest of the world. The tale of lesbian socialite Gigi Chao and her billionaire shipping and property magnate father Cecil Chao, who offered HK$500 million (about $65 million) to the man who can woo and marry his 33-year-old daughter, spoke volumes of the futility of trying to alter one's natural sexual orientation.

I accept that many people feel uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality, and wish it would simply go away or, at least, keep out of their sight. Their feelings must be understood too, but it simply isn't going to go away or hide in corners. Family-oriented conservatives have learnt to accept divorce, as it's happened to so many people that one just can't reject them all. It's time they accepted homosexuality as well as just one of those things that exist in nature; they'll find gay and transgender people are in most matters exactly the same as everybody else. If you met my sons, you wouldn't even be able to guess which one was gay.

The author served 1986-2006 in the British Diplomatic Service, including nine years in Beijing. He is now a freelance writer, journalist and commentator on political, economic and diplomatic affairs, especially China.

(HK Edition 06/11/2014 page7)