Losing my shirt over the local dress code

I've always enjoyed a good old-fashioned epiphany. As I get older, they happen less often but I had one the other day when a serious-looking chap in uniform rode up to me on his bicycle while I was in the park and told me, by way of mime, to put my shirt on.

While I would never dream of taking it off on the street - here in Beijing or anywhere else - I had no idea that a bare male chest was inappropriate in a Chinese park.

Now, after asking my workmates, I realize it is indeed considered tacky - if not downright disgusting - to expose one's man-boobies to the ravages of the sun. I won't do it again, of course, and I apologize to anyone I inadvertently offended, but I've got to tell you, it will be incredibly hard, resisting the sun's warm caress, being as I am, a northern European who feels somewhat cheated out of the sun's affections.

I think the long road that led me to my chastisement in the park began in the summer of 1976.

I was 11 and the nation buzzed with the word "drought".

The sun had shone for weeks and clouds refused to entertain the slightest idea of forming above the wilting British countryside. Reservoirs ran dry and England's famed lawns turned from lush green to arid brown.

As a pre-teen, I was not interested in talk of hosepipe bans and drinking water shortages, nor fields of dying crops; I was only interested in the fun the hot weather brought.

My perfect summer started with a day at the outdoor swimming pool where my friends and I swam and played in the sun all day long. We dragged our heels when ordered to leave at 6 pm.

In no hurry, we picked up brooms and helped sweep up at closing time. Our reward - a free pass to get into the pool the next day.

We repeated that sun-kissed day - the swimming, the sunbathing, the cleaning, the free pass - for the rest of the summer.

By its end, we were as brown as nuts and as good in the water as a school of dolphins.

I think the 11-year-old me thought the world would always be like that. But, alas, England returned to its usual overcast, rainy self shortly after. I have only seen glimpses of that idyllic, hot summer in the 33 summers that followed.