Penny-pinching tips from veteran of the game

Recently my colleague Young Zhou returned to the office to fetch something he had left behind. He was scared witless when he saw a light in the dark building, thinking it was a thief with a flashlight. He picked up a makeshift club and approached closer only to discover, with relief, that it was Old Niu's computer downloading the popular TV series Lurk (Qianfu), at a snail's speed of 5.7k.

He intends to download all the Oscar-winning movies, which he says will be a heritage to pass on to his children's children.

Old Niu is known as a thrifty man and we have been forced by our wives to learn from his good example.

For instance, over the past two years he has downloaded and printed the complete works of kungfu novelist Louis Cha, using the company's computers and printers.

With the help of a binding machine and glue from the janitor's room, he bound the copies into 70 volumes. At home, he arranged them carefully and whenever guests visit, Old Niu proudly shows off his collection. He calls his study "Tianyige - Number One Study in the World".

Old Niu has applied his thriftiness to almost every aspect of life. Every time we go out for lunch, Old Niu laments his poor memory. Of course, he has forgotten his wallet.

He always apologizes and then gets the waiters to pack the leftovers. Then he'll take home the chicken and fish bones, which his wife cooks with leftover vegetables and steamed buns.

Old Niu insists on brushing his teeth, washing his face and charging his mobile phone and shaver in the office. Every day before leaving the office, he goes to the warehouse and takes two paper cups and a toilet roll.

To keep the cups from getting crushed in his briefcase, Old Niu puts them in cup holders. This works, but even so, after just one drink the cup is soggy and useless. Then, Old Niu is upset and complains about the bad quality of the cups.

Old Niu's virtues have become well known and his colleague's wives call him a role model. Old Niu, who is a natural lecturer, is quite happy to visit their families on weekends to give free lessons on how to save money.

Now, Old Niu has been inspired to write a book about his household management secrets and in his spare time he is drawing up an outline for the book that is bound to be a classic.

The story first appeared on Southern People weekly