No meeting of minds

Tong Kang, 30, who refuses to reveal his real name, prepared himself mentally much in advance of the festival and wrote down notes in order to argue with his parents.

"I want to exchange views calmly, especially on such occasions, ... but sometimes we quarrel with each other over this issue," he says.

The Beijing-based office worker also has a side occupation, and his total annual income is about 200,000 yuan ($29,121).

"I will get married but the time is not ripe yet. Maybe two or three years from now," he adds.

His parents aren't backing off though. Each week they mention the subject once over the phone. They also arranged a date for him during this Spring Festival, but Tong says he is too busy to follow up after such dates.

"In Beijing, housing and educational expenses of children are steep. A house may cost several million yuan," he says. He views his current financial condition as being below such standards.

His parents, he says, are willing to support him financially and they think he and his wife could earn more together if he got married.

"They told me that they resolved money problems together earlier, but they have no idea about the economic pressure on our generation. It's much bigger," Tong says.

Ming Li, chief counselor for Shanghai-based Weiqing International Marriage Hospital, a marriage consultancy, says: "Parents are under great social pressure but they don't have to force kids into marriages if the kids don't want to. Those who are eager to get married will actively find a partner on their own. If you don't have a suitable partner, you can't marry hastily."

Young people should think independently of their parents and learn how to be responsible couples when they find someone, she says.

Contact the writer at xulin@chinadaily.com.cn