Reminder to careless sons

Comment on "Daughters show more filial respect than sons" (China Daily, Sept 23)

As a son, I feel ashamed for not calling my parents, who live in a village, over the phone during the past couple of weeks. I don't even know whether they knew about Chongyang Festival, let alone whether they celebrated it. Nonetheless, I still want to say something for sons in China.

I think some factors make Chinese daughters more filial than sons. Chinese men are normally too shy to express their love. A boy in China is usually trained to exercise self-control, develop the capability to endure even the most violent storms in life and be unflinching in his resolve to achieve his goal. But he is rarely taught how to express his true feelings for someone, parents included.

I hoped to find a job and live close to my parents but couldn't do so, and felt extremely lonely when I shifted from my parents to work. I am married now and not that lonely. But I have never told my parents what I went through and how much I longed for them. My father, too, has not told me how much he missed me, but I know he loves me as much as I love him.

Moreover, traditionally, parents spend more time, money and energy on their sons than their daughters because men are considered to take their family name forward and supposed to look after their parents when they get old or fall sick. The extra attention and love that sons get also make some of them take things for granted and neglect their parents in times of need.

I want to remind all careless sons like me, and their wives, to take good care of their aging parents, whose support and love for their offspring are unconditional.

Zhang Yaming, via e-mail

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(China Daily 10/30/2012 page9)