The joys and trials of generation s

"The stories the interviewees told moved me, and I wanted people to know about the kinds of things they think about and feel," Luo says.

"Because of gender inequality, single women and single men are treated differently," says Luo, 38, of Guangzhou, adding that she spent three years researching and writing the book. Luo, a lawyer who worked as a newspaper editor until recently, is now with a law firm.

Media reports stereotype older unmarried women, she says, depicting them as unbending, and with unreasonably high expectations of any prospective partner, but at the same time being anxious about marriage and very lonely. Some even see these women as being at high risk of having health problems.

"Most Chinese women do indeed want to be married," Luo says. "But when they are financially independent, marrying someone they love is the most important thing. If the right person hasn't come along they are willing to wait."

Luo says she plans to interview her subjects again in the future and turn the project into lifetime research, and she is looking for funding support.

She attributes the supposed problem of unmarried older women to business people looking to make money in the lucrative match-making market. The longer the idea is perpetuated, with the help of the media, that single women must marry as soon as they can, the more women will pay online dating websites and the like for help in solving their "problem", she says.

Luo suggests that single women widen their circle of friends to make up for those who marry and then have less time for friends because they are preoccupied with their families. Emotional support from peers and family support is important in ensuring these single people do not feel lonely, she says.

Li, 36, who lives in Paris, and who wanted to be identified by her surname only, can give a French perspective to the issue of singlehood, being unmarried and having lived in France for 12 years.

"There is no ageism towards women in France," she says.

"In fact, I have never heard of anything here like the terms "leftover women" or "withered flowers".

Li, who owns a consulting company, says French people regard women aged 30 and above as having entered a golden age because they have a career, are mature and elegant, all in their own way.

"Single people can fully enjoy their lives here. Parents or friends will never try to push you into marriage. When a society tolerates different lifestyles, it is developed and mature.

"French people are discreet about marriage, and couples often marry after having known one another for a long time. Most French are unlike Chinese in that they do not set out to meet people with the express aim of marrying them."

French people attach a lot of importance to communication, affinity and mutual hobbies in relationships, Li says, and it is not that difficult for a divorcee with a child or children to marry again.

Li Yinhe, a sociologist and sexologist, says the reasons for the singlehood phenomenon in China are many and complex. Such a phenomenon is often found in countries that are oriented to the individual and where the focus is on pursuing individual happiness, she says.

China has a high marriage rate, and Chinese society runs counter to single life, she says, because its culture is family-oriented, meaning that family ties and carrying on the ancestral line are preeminent.

"The increase of single people means some are failing to comply with Chinese tradition and culture."