Middle-class women reluctant to divorce husbands for fear of disgrace in China
(Xinhua)
Updated: 2004-03-19 13:48

It seems that the ancient Chinese fear of losing face by admitting failure has made some women in China, who are well off and successful in their career, choose to continue their marriages despite a bad relationship.

Most of the women are white-collar workers in cities. They appear content with their families, yet feel lonely, as their marriages are only "shells", the legal forms.

According to a recent survey of psychological counseling services in Nanjing, capital city of east China's Jiangsu Province, women are reluctant to divorce their spouses for fear of disgrace and reproach from their families.

The 32-year-old Mrs Liu, with a daughter aged six, serves as chief finance officer at a company, while her husband works with a real estate development company as marketing manager. They both earn a good income and own a good apartment and a car.

However, Liu says that she is not so happy as appears. She and her husband now have little communication with each other, as he is back home late every night, she adds.

Knowing her husband is carrying on with another woman, Liu says he treats their child and her parents very well. Her husband has not yet suggested a divorce, and she does not intend to make the suggestion either. She used to consider divorcing the man, but eventually chose to tolerate him and withhold the marriage, as her parents would oppose the divorce.

Mrs Li, 29, has a husband running an auto trade firm. In a good financial condition and with no child, she has had nothing to talk about with him since shortly after they got married. Now they lived separately in different flats. The reason why she does not want a divorce is the fear of failure to find a more suitable man for marriage, she says.

A local psychology counselor told the survey that more women white-collar workers in the city, challenged by a virtually broken relationship in their marriages, had become reluctant to choose a divorce. The main reason was the concern for other people's attitude and fear of disgrace, the counselor said.

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