Six-minute love searching
(Shanghai Star)
Updated: 2004-09-01 08:58

How to find your Mr/Miss Right in the shortest possible time? Six minutes may bring you love? These words are written on a table, at which a young man named Wu Ruqi sits, waiting for his series of six-minute dates with 12 girls.

In a Chinese-style bar called Seeker Jazz, speed-dating was being organized by a website on August 21, one day before Chinese Lover's Day (the seventh day of the seventh lunar month). Some 12 pairs of boys and girls participated by registering themselves at the website and paying 95 yuan (US$11).

Each then had the opportunity to have a six-minute date with 12 partners of the opposite sex. The event took place on the second and third floors of the bar, where personal encounters of the participants would be interrupted by conversations and two games.

The speed-dating was supposed to start at 2:00pm but it was delayed for nearly an hour by the late arrival of some participants.

After the organizer hit a rattle-drum as a signal, the speed-dating started in an environment of dim lights and jazz music. After every six-minute, all the men were supposed to leave their tables and move on to a new date. They were all dressed casually, some appearing to talk happily while others were a little inhibited and found it difficult to continue their conversations.

After the first six rounds of conversation and 10 minutes of free-talking, they got together to play a game prepared by the organizer.

Following the game another six rounds of dating took place. The speed-dating finally ended with another game.

Meaningful moments

"I think it is quite meaningful to hold such an activity for young people," said Wu, a Shanghainese who is going to be a sociology teacher in a university.

"Most young people live in constricted circles and want a broader social scope, but they have no time for that," he said. "That is why I came to this event, and besides, I am curious about this way of making friends. I may bring it into my future studies and research."

The participants interviewed all expressed their hopes for making new friends in this activity, as well as the dream to find their potential Mr/Miss Right in the succeeding contacts.

At the age of 26, Wu said he was not too worried about his love life. For many people of marriageable ages, speed-dating is quite a useful and effective solution because of its clear-cut objective.

"Now that the social problems of this group have become increasingly urgent and evident, there should be some methods to help them." However, Wu was not very satisfied with the organization of the speed-dating. 

"I found it was impossible to make real contact with girls in just six minutes. We just introduced ourselves and talked about something simple like the activity itself or our jobs. It was surprising that some important topics such as interests and family were never touched upon in my conversations." He suggested that the organizers should plan the activity by pairing applicants from similar fields so their common interests and background could offer them a better chance of learning more about each other.

"I felt a little weird and tired after the talks and I believe other people may have had the same problems. I cannot even remember what I said or the names of the girls from the latter part," Wu said.

"Maybe Chinese people are not used to such direct dates as we are quite conservative, not like Americans. I would prefer some outdoor activities to such dates, because they would be more natural and you could learn more by helping each other." But he said that speed-dating was much better than traditional arranged dates.

Wu did quite well in the second game with his partner Wang Li, a school teacher, and he wrote her name in his form at the end of the activity. She had learned about this activity from newspapers and then registered on the Internet.

"I am fond of making friends in such ways," she said. "The games really impressed me and connected us more closely." Most of the participants found this activity interesting and the charge reasonable. They said that they would like to take part in it again if they hadn't yet found their true love.

Xiao Wei, a sociologist from Fudan University, said he didn't like speed-dating and felt worried about this way of making friends. "It is an exciting and energetic way to make friends and find lovers," he said, "but it has a very utilitarian target and it stereotypes personal relationships."

He said such a short date would only remain a superficial acquaintanceship lacking the inner communication as well as the true feelings which are vital in personal relationships.

"It offers everyone here an opportunity!"said Lu Dawei, the core organizer of the speed-dating and also an economic law major junior student from the East China University of Politics and Law.

He said his website was the first and only speed-dating organization in Shanghai. Inspired by a speed-dating scene from the popular American TV series 'Sex and the City' Lu had the idea of organizing Chinese speed-dating last winter.

"I am sure that this activity will be welcome in Shanghai because it is a metropolis with a huge capacity to embrace new things. Speed dating would emerge sooner or later because it meets the demands of young people for friends and love in such a busy modern society," he said.

Ambitious project

Lu started his project in May by organizing a group of five friends from five different universities in Shanghai. In June they established the speed-dating website.

"The initial experience of organizing the activity was really exciting,"Lu said. "I was in charge of finding the appropriate place for the activity and I cannot remember how many bars and cafes I had to contact. Our website is becoming much more complete as it matures through our collective efforts."

Three speed-dating events have been organized since June and now they are planning to host the fourth one. He planned the special features of our date events.

"The first was particularly designed for white collars. The result was very satisfying, with 15 pairs of participants all getting along quite well. Since then, they have often planned their own activities and some of them have fallen in love." Lu said.

Although speed dating originated in the US, it has now become a global activity. The biggest company organizing speed-dating in the US is a website named 8-minute dating.com, which proposes that everything can happen in eight minutes.

Considering different cultures and traditions of China, we added some new elements into our activity, such as the free conversation, the games and a smaller number of participants,?said Lu.

Their organization began to make a profit from the second dating event.

Although he had planned to become a lawyer in the future, Lu said he would take up the speed-dating organization as his full-time career if his organization continuing to make good progress by the time he graduates from college.

"I am always curious about everything new and fresh. And I hope it will grow into a giant like the 8-minute dating company in the US and open many branches all over China," he said.

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