Traditionally Chinese parents have high expectations for their children. But according to a recent survey, healthy and obedient children are good enough for Hong Kong parents.

The Democratic Alliance for the Betterment and Progress of Hong Kong (DAB) interviewed 835 parents from the end of May to early June.

Close to 40 percent of the fathers and over 50 percent of the mothers expressed hope for their children to be healthy.

About 20 percent of the fathers and 24 percent of the mothers wanted their children to be obedient.

Thirty percent of the fathers and 15 percent of the mothers said they expected nothing from their children.

Only less than 10 percent of the fathers and mothers respectively expected their children to have some kind of achievement.

The survey also revealed that fathers and mothers have quite a different approach to handling problems.

More fathers chose to solve problems all by themselves (50 percent) instead of asking other members in the family for help (30 percent).

But 53 percent of the mothers said they would ask for help from other family members. Only 12 percent said they would handle the problems alone.

"Many men still hold a traditional view that men should take care of all the problems," said Starry Lee, member of the DAB's Standing Committee. "But not talking about their problems will affect family relationships."

Family members should talk to each other more often in order to create harmony at home, she suggested.

Charlie Chan, social work supervisor of Caritas Youth and Community Service said in recent years parents have been educated to avoid focusing too much on children's academic performance.

"The survey results in some way reflect the effectiveness and success of such education," he said.

"Men will only ask for help when the problem is too big for them to handle," he said. "We need to educate men that family matters should be shared by all members in the family and it is nothing to be ashamed of to ask for help."

He also said women should show their support and be sensitive when men ask for help.

(HK Edition 06/11/2008 page1)