There is this luxury store, which sells designer handbags, shoes and clothing at a very cheap price. There is a catch, though. The cashier gives the finger and tells the customers they are a bunch of "cheap little locusts" at the cash register. If the customers can swallow their pride and accept the insult, they can enjoy a 30 percent discount. Do you think people would fancy shopping in this discount luxury store? Yes, they do.

The luxury store is called Hong Kong. And, oh boy, see how people rush in to be insulted. In 2012, Hong Kong received a record-high 48.6 million visitors from around the world, a remarkable increase of 16.0 percent over 2011. Needless to say, the Chinese mainland continued to be the largest visitor source market with 34.9 million arrivals (24.2 percent year-on-year increase), accounting for 71.8 percent of total arrivals. Amongst all mainland arrivals, 19.8 million (56.7 percent) were same-day visitors, up by 36.6 percent year-on-year, and 23.1 million (66.3 percent) of mainland visitors came to Hong Kong under the Individual Visit Scheme (IVS), up by 26.2 percent over 2011.

I can understand why mainlanders would like to study and work here. If they can have better careers here, why not? Given time, they will get to know Hong Kong and its people better, and the cultural gap can be bridged. Along the way, they can bring diversity to our city and contribute to our economy.

What I can't understand are the 19.8 million same-day visitors in 2012, which were given "the look" by Hongkongers, and returned to brag in front of their friends about the discounted name-brand products they purchased. How much did they save? What's the price of dignity for an individual? What's the price of dignity for a nation?

I remember friends on the mainland who said they must visit Hong Kong someday. In their imagination, Hong Kong represents everything that the mainland isn't. Hong Kong is clean, rich and civilized. Hongkongers are polite and they all speak English.

In a sense, this myth and Hong Kong's inflated ego is sustained and propagated by the national media apparatus. Lung Ying-tai's "please convince me with civilization" and the migrant worker dying of cancer who said she must spend her life's savings to visit Hong Kong, are two sides of the same coin, both created by the mainland's cultural unconsciousness and lack of self-esteem.

This brings me back to the recent controversy after a news report claimed mainland and local students verbally clashed repeatedly in the classroom after mainland students demanded a teacher hold his class in Putonghua instead of in Cantonese.

Some said the report is inaccurate. I tend to believe that. The more interesting thing is that the course is called "Essential Concepts in Chinese Culture". A student from Hubei province in the class told the reporter that "she was surprised to find that the majority of her teachers only used Cantonese only after she arrived in Hong Kong. At least 20 students I know of were in the same situation as me," she said.

These students from the mainland thought they were going to experience internationalization, but found themselves stuck with a dialect. Hong Kong is supposed to be "civilized", but the press fabricated news to feed hatred and people discriminate against mainlanders.

Disappointment for those who have been here notwithstanding, the myth of Hong Kong, as well as the various "talent attraction schemes" offered by both Hong Kong and the mainland, will continue to lure both the gullible and the cunning.

As far as integration is concerned, dignity must be the basis of all exchanges. As the relationships self-help books like to say: Love yourself, if you want to be loved.

The author is a current affairs commentator.

(HK Edition 10/19/2013 page6)