最怪誕的10本指南書籍

5. How to Start Your Own Country
《如何建立你自己的國家 》

If there is anyone, that has enough time and money to invest in starting his/her own country, I'd love to meet him/her. Even better, I'd love to meet the person that sat down and had enough time to write a book surrounding the idea of creating a country. For one, a country isn't "created" by just one person; and two, land is always readily available, the only part that is started is a name.
要是有人有足夠的時間和金錢來投資建設他自己的國家，我可真想見見他。不過我更想見的是懷著怎樣建立王國這種念頭閑的蛋疼有空坐下來寫書的人。首先，國家不是僅由一個人“創造”的，其次，總要有空地，唯一能創建的部分，就只有國家的名字而已。

4. How to Pee Standing Up
《怎樣站著小便》

Apparently, being a girl and being able to pee while standing up is "hip." I didn't know women were looking to be more like men. I thought that whole individualism thing was still alive and well today. Would feminists frown or be happy about this book? Peeing standing up gives us one more privilege a man has!
顯然，作為一個女生并且能夠在站立時小便是“很時尚的”。我倒是不知道女人想要變得更像男人。我想一定是如今個人主義精神健在并且蓬勃發展。女權主義者對對此書皺眉還是開心呢？站著小便又給了我們一項男人的特權！

3. How to Speak Cat
《怎樣和喵星人談話》

Speaking cat isn't hard, mainly because cats generally don't listen. Who'd invest their time trying to understand an animal that isn't even seen most of the time? If you wanted to understand all of the different mews and sounds that come from your cat's mouth, this is the book for you.
和貓談話不難，主要是因為貓咪們根本沒在聽你的。誰會把時間投入到試圖理解一種一天到晚見不著幾回的動物身上？如果你想理解你家貓咪所有不同的喵喵聲和其他叫聲，此書正合適。

2. How to Survive a Robot Uprising
《如何從機器人起義中活下來》

This seems like a useless book to me. In order for robots to rise up, they'd need to have some sort of control. However, those little things called remote controls, come very in handy to control a robot. Surviving a robot uprising would include the click or switch of a button. Tough! I guess if you're a sci-fi kinda guy you'd enjoy this book.
這本書看著對我來說屁用沒有。為了使機器人起義，它們還得受一些控制。然而，這些小機關叫做遠程控制，控制機器人遲早有用。從機器人起義中生存下來將會包括點擊或開關按鈕。如果你是科幻小說迷，應該會享受此書。

1. How to Become a Schizophrenic
《怎樣變成精神分裂癥患者》

I didn't know people actually could, and would want to "become" schizophrenic. Nothing like being able to allow yourself to become one who hears voices. However, I guess, maybe, it's something worth experiencing. Who knows. On the brighter side, this book does provide many theories as how one becomes a schizophrenic. How to Become a Schizophrenic
我不知道人可以，或者想要“變成”精神分裂癥患者。這又不是什么像使你自己能夠聽見聲音這種正面的事情。不過，我想這可能值得體驗，誰知道呢。從光明的一面來說，這本書確實提供了不少如何精神分裂的理論。

（來源：譯言網 編輯：丁一）