男人絕對(duì)不能對(duì)女人說(shuō)的八句話

“Have you lost weight?”
No.6 “你減肥了嗎?”

“When a guy says this, or 'Wow, you look slimmer!' my blood starts to boil because, nope, I'm the exact same weight I was yesterday. I resist the urge to grab a marker, pants this doofus, circle all his fat and instead say, 'I haven't lost any weight. But you've lost any chance of going home with me.' The only way this dude can recover is by full-on admitting he was just trying to be nice and didn't know what else to say because I'm always looking great. But seriously, don't comment on a woman's weight, ever!”
-Marianne Schaberg, writer and comedian
“如果有個(gè)男人說(shuō)，‘哇，你看起來(lái)變瘦了！’那我簡(jiǎn)直就要怒發(fā)沖冠了，因?yàn)槲业捏w重跟昨天差不多。我拼命壓住想抓起一支馬克筆把這蠢貨身上的脂肪都圈出來(lái)的沖動(dòng)，說(shuō)：‘我并沒(méi)有變瘦。但是你已經(jīng)失去和我做朋友的機(jī)會(huì)了。’唯一挽救的辦法就是，這家伙要誠(chéng)心誠(chéng)意地承認(rèn)，他只是想說(shuō)點(diǎn)好聽(tīng)的，但是不知道該說(shuō)些別的什么，因?yàn)槲乙恢倍己苊馈２贿^(guò)，說(shuō)真的，不要評(píng)論一個(gè)女人的體重，永遠(yuǎn)不要！”
——作家、喜劇演員瑪麗安·史嘉伯

"Wow, I didn't recognize you with makeup on."
No.7 “哇，你化了妝我都認(rèn)不出來(lái)了。”

“It drives me nuts when I wear makeup and a man says to me, ‘Oh my god, I didn't recognize you! You're so pretty.’ This is the ultimate backhanded compliment. I don't wear make-up at my day job because I don't consider all of life a show. A simple 'You look very pretty today,' is fine. Beyond that, we're not that close, so please keep your comments to yourself. I don't tell you when your bald spot looks extra shiny, don't tell me when I'm looking tired or fat or thin. I have a mirror. Believe me, I know.”
-Corinne Fisher, comedian, New York City
“要是我化了妝，一個(gè)男人對(duì)我說(shuō): ‘我的天，我都認(rèn)不出你了！你真美。’那我絕對(duì)要?dú)庹ā＿@純粹是挖苦。我白天工作時(shí)不化妝，因?yàn)槲也徽J(rèn)為整個(gè)人生是一場(chǎng)戲。他只要簡(jiǎn)單地說(shuō)：‘你今天真漂亮’就很好。別的話就算了，因?yàn)槲覀兊年P(guān)系并沒(méi)有那么近。所以，不要亂說(shuō)話。我不會(huì)告訴你今天你的禿頭有多亮，所以你也別告訴我我看起來(lái)很累或是胖了瘦了，我自己有鏡子。相信我，我自己知道的。”
——喜劇演員科琳·費(fèi)希爾，來(lái)自紐約

“Can’t you take a joke?”
No.8 “怎么就這么開不起玩笑？”

“Sometimes when men find out I perform stand-up comedy, they think that gives them permission to 'fake-insult' me. When I don't laugh, they ask, ‘Can't you take a joke?' to which I say, 'Can't you tell a joke?' Enjoying humor isn't a green light for reciting every sexist joke your uncle told the family at Thanksgiving dinner.”
-Carolyn Busa, host of "Side Ponytail" in Williamsburg, Brooklyn
“有時(shí)候當(dāng)男人發(fā)現(xiàn)我是個(gè)單口相聲演員時(shí)，他們就會(huì)認(rèn)為自己有權(quán)拿我開涮。如果我不賠笑，他們就會(huì)問(wèn)：‘怎么就這么開不起玩笑？’我說(shuō)：‘你就不能自己來(lái)個(gè)笑話？’看滑稽表演并不意味著你可以把你叔叔在感恩節(jié)家庭聚餐時(shí)說(shuō)的黃色笑話搬到這里來(lái)。”
——布魯克林區(qū)威廉斯堡市節(jié)目《側(cè)馬尾》主持人卡洛琳·布薩

英文來(lái)源：mensfitness
譯者：葉霜艷
審校&編輯：丹妮