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          Fashion turkeys: A review of bad taste


          Updated: 2006-11-23 16:04
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          Fashion turkeys: A review of bad taste

          Tent dresses.

          Fashionably pregnant women everywhere must be elated over the return of designer Pierre Cardin's signature dress, which he created in 1966. Tent dresses were plentiful during New York's recent fashion week at Alice Roi, DKNY, Sass & Bide, Diane von Furstenberg and other designer shows. The pyramid-style dress drapes from the shoulders or bust with no waist and has enough fabric to hide the largest bump. But should any nonpregnant woman wear one? We think not.

          Too-high platforms.

          Some fashion trends should never be resurrected, but then what would fashion designers do for inspiration? High platform shoes — 4 inches or higher — have been around since the 16th century. We watched them rise in the 1940s (with Carmen Miranda wearing glittery wedge soles), then again in the 1970s disco era with singer Elton John. Now a new generation of women can break their ankles for the sake of fashion. Stylish women have always been willing to put up with a little pain, but these iconic shoes are best saved for Halloween.

          Being too thin.

          Even before organizers of Madrid Fashion Week and the Madrid regional government banned models who were considered too thin from the runway, the industry was buzzing about alarmingly thin models. And ultra-waiflike Hollywood celebrities such as Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan seem to have succumbed, too. Protruding collarbones, bony arms and hips aren't a fashion trend. When the average woman in the United States is a size 12, fashion types in Madrid shouldn't be the only ones taking a stand.

          Goth makeup.

          Raccoon eyes, dark lips and black nails. Not a look for winning friends, but who needs friends when you're the ridiculously wealthy Olsen twins? Their dark, brooding look has infiltrated fashion runways and magazines for the moment, but it'll be gone in a flash. Who wants to spend that much time applying and removing makeup?

          Monster handbags.

          A gigantic handbag is like a security blanket, complete with all the comforts of home. It can double as an overnight bag, storing a lunch, a few wardrobe changes and a pair of shoes with room for more. In times of distress, it can serve as a weapon. The downside: It can weigh a ton and cause your shoulders to ache. You can forsake good posture for fashion, but be sure to find a great masseuse.

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