Straddling two worlds and belonging to both

"I sent my daughter to Chinese school on Saturday, but it wasn't enough," Alice added. The two of them then discussed the logistical difficulties of getting the kids to violin lessons and baseball and soccer practices over the weekends.

I asked if they ever thought about moving back to China. Of course, they all said - even Mary who left China in 1989 and still had the "angry youth" streak in her - but it would be very difficult, if not entirely impossible, to find stable nice paying jobs to support million-dollar houses. And then there was the issue of giving up the clean air and green fields of Boston.

"At least send the kids to China during the summer then," I suggested, "so they will know how to speak real Chinese."

"I considered it," sighed Mary, "but I'm not sure that they would survive without basic Chinese."

I turned to look at the four kids. They looked healthy, cute, obedient, and well educated. Unlike us who had struggled to establish ourselves in America, they were living in the perfect American dream with big houses surrounded by manicured lawns and white picket fences. However, would they someday ask where they had come from, where their parents had come from, and then embark on a journey to go find their roots in China? Would they then regret not having paid much attention to learning Chinese when they were little?

I understood then that that was the cause of my melancholy. A melting pot as it is, America can still be difficult for Chinese-Americans. Why still migrate when China is becoming stronger and can provide much better economic opportunities than before? Why get yourself stuck between cultures when you can learn the native language of your parents and feel proud of it? Why not go back, to be full-blown Chinese?

We finished dinner and walked out to the parking lot. The kids were running around playing a game by themselves, not unlike the kids back in China. The sometimes difficult journeys of our dreams, be they American or Chinese or something in between, are all a natural part of life. I decided there and then to shake off my silly melancholy and happily bade everyone farewell.