Making the grade in primary schools is not just kids' stuff

My head was throbbing. I looked at my watch.

It was two hours and 15 minutes since we first opened the textbooks.

With only three questions left, a trickle of relief washed over me, there was light at the end of the tunnel, but then - BAM! Predicate, dangling modifier or intransitive verb?

I knew any chance of catching the Amazing Race was down the tubes.

Between translation, dictionary and grammar searches, my daughter and I were looking at another 40-minute answer.

Grade school homework is every parent's nightmare.

It's second only to a parent's worst nightmare, which is after paying for three years of college, room and board your kid decides to switch majors, start again and proceeds to empty out your retirement fund.

Last year, students from a host of countries were given a standardized international test and to everyone's surprise Shanghai came out on top. It beat out Singapore, South Korea and Germany, and there was an even wider margin between China and the United States.

Close on the heels of the report was the brouhaha over Tiger Mom Amy Chua's article Why Chinese Mothers are Superior and suddenly Chinese parents were painted as a nation of Captain Bligh's - hard-hearted taskmasters, who rewarded their little charges with a bit of dry tack if they brought home straight As and a lashing with the cat-o'-nine-tails if they didn't.

Since people were not content with Tiger Mom's harsh example, now comes along Wolf Dad Xiao Baiyou, who claims that beating your child with a feather duster is a sure-fire incentive to get them into Peking University. Interestingly enough, as wolves aren't known for their dusting skills, a more fitting moniker for him would likely be Chicken Dad.

For Americans outraged at the authoritarian-type discipline of Chinese parents, they conveniently overlook the long, exhausting hours Chinese parents put in seven days a week to ensure their children achieve the best grades.

Oh sure, a typical American parent may be heavy on the school functions, too, but a couple of hours cheering on your kid at a basketball game is a lot easier than slogging through arcane bits of algebra.

Chinese parents demand homework.

It's a necessary evil like twice yearly dental checkups or DIY prostate exams.

The advent of the one-child family results in the laser-like focus of parents and grandparents.

Thus, there is no such thing here as an "Army of One". Rather it's Team Xiu Xiu, Team Dong Dong or Team Peach - which is not gender-specific in China. But what Americans seem unaware of is that Chinese parents dislike homework as much as anyone else. In the end, it's all a matter of self-interest.

China currently has more than 143 million elderly citizens. That's equal to the entire population of Russia or France and the United Kingdom combined. It's expected to hit 437 million by 2051, when three out of 10 people will be older than 60.

Government social care for the elderly is lagging far behind developed countries. More than 65 percent of seniors don't receive welfare, pensions or adequate medical care.

The solution to this dismal future? China is advocating that, "senior citizens live at home and be taken care of in the community".

Good grades equals good schools, which lead to good jobs and financial security for aging parents when they finally move in with their adult children.

Rigorous schoolwork and academic discipline then isn't a matter of Confucian policy but of self-preservation.

Given the state of the US' daunting deficit and depleting Social Security reserves, will American parents soon ditch the school football parties for study sessions with their kids on syntax, thesis writing and exposition?

For me, I don't want my twilight years spent in a creaking mother-in-law apartment over my child's garage. Heck no!

I want my own satellite TV equipped, hardwood teak floor, two-bedroom cabana beside their landscaped infinity pool.

Looks like another four hours of homework tonight? Bring it on!