Help in the home a family affair

She was so good that when she left our home to buy food we had nothing to gossip about her. In the case of the first ayi, we had plenty to complain about once she was not in the house.

But the perfect ayi already had plans to go back to her hometown for Spring Festival, and not return. After 10 years in Beijing, she had decided to go home to be with her son and look after her elderly mother.

Our third ayi stayed at our home for only three days and drove the whole family crazy. My elderly mother looked like she would have a heart attack if the nurse stayed a day more.

She acted more like a guest in the house than a nurse. When the baby tried to open a cabinet she told him there were snakes and monsters inside. When the grandmother and mother were taking care of the baby's toilet training, she read a magazine. When my old mom wiped the floor, she said: "Granny is so healthy." In the three days she stayed, she never washed a basin of dirty clothes in the bathroom.

We think the ayi lied about having three years' experience looking after three babies, and she probably bought her baby nurture license from the black market.

I am very happy that the fourth ayi we have is experienced, normal and has a good temper. She can coax our son into finishing his bottle of milk, and she is willing to stay on.

From our experience, the most popular ayis in Beijing seem to come from Sichuan and Gansu provinces. But there are also nurses from Shandong, Anhui, Shanxi, Henan and Northeast China. Many ayis come from the countryside. Their education is usually lower than senior high school.

While you are trying to find a good ayi, they are also trying to find a good employer. I actually got asked more questions when I interviewed ayis.

Before you hire them, they would like to know how your mom gets along with your wife, if the husband has a good temper, whether she needs to sleep in the living room, or even if your zodiac animal is friendly with hers.

Our lesson: Nobody is perfect. But if you try, they can become better.

Our second nurse told us she used to hold onto old resentments. But she met a really good employer, with whom she got along very well, and shook off her unhappy past. We hope getting along with the new ayi can be a happy learning experience for both of us.

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