Soft or tough, handle with care

A US president once advocated a policy called "No child left behind". In a system of free competition, that is technically

The difficult art of letting go

Moderation trumps prejudice

When the crowd bays for blood

impossible. What a society should do is make sure those who want to advance are given fair opportunities. Just as there are children who are self-galvanizing and need no inculcation, there are those no amount of persuasion can affect. If they are determined to stay behind, either by choice or by influence, a teacher or parent can do little, especially when that kid reaches the legal age of an adult.

A family tragedy in Beijing may spotlight the need for parents to let go. A 13-year-old girl was obsessed with celebrities and totally ignored her schoolwork. Last November, tensions escalated when the daughter, tired of her father's admonitions, blurted out that the stars were more important to her than her parents, and her father, in a fit of lunacy, struck her with a knife, which turned out to be fatal.

Admittedly the girl's problems were not singular but representative of the celebrity culture pervasive in today's society. More importantly, they are at worst self-destructive and do not pose a threat to others. But if they are, say, turning youngsters into habitual thieves, what should a parent do? Wait for the juvenile detention system to take over? There must be a point when "You're the best!" becomes merely a manifestation of delusion.

Every society has such problems, but China faces a special dilemma because the current generation of youths is the first to come of age in a time of unprecedented prosperity. With the struggle for survival no longer an issue, young people have more choices and some will inevitably lose themselves in the maze of too many choices, some unsavory.

To end on a positive note, I'll recount the story of Li, an attendant at a college dormitory in Henan province. After witnessing some youngsters wasting their time sleeping all day or endlessly playing computer games, she posted a humorous open letter in the corridor: "Summer is here. It's bright outside. Your schoolmates are out in the library or on the basketball court. But you're under your blanket sleeping or playing games. The good days will not last forever. It's easy to graduate but not easy to find good jobs. Wake up!"

Well, I did not do justice in my translation because she incorporated many memes into her letter, turning it into something like a tease. I don't know how well it changed the behavior of those she saw as squandering their youth, but it went viral and became an exemplar of how to communicate with today's young.