Mongolian marriage

(chinaculture.org)

Updated: 2013-12-18

Many Engagement Gifts

If a Mongolian young man takes a liking for a girl, he should entrust a matchmaker to send gifts such as sugar, tea leaves and pastern that symbolize harmony, wetness and prosperity wrapped in a white handkerchief to the girl's home. If the girl's family accepts the gifts, it means they agree on the match. Soon after, the young man and his parents will take gifts such as hada, milk liquor, and sugar block, etc., to make a proposal. Generally, only after several times of proposals can the two young people get engaged. After the girl's family accepts the engagement gifts, the young man will deliver wine three times to her home, and if the girl's side accepts all the wine, it means that the marriage is set. When the wedding date approaches, the young man should send gifts to the girl's family one more time, and the gifts this time generally include cooked entire sheep, wine, tea leaves and hada. The girl's family entertains the gift senders hospitably, and the two sides toast to each other and sing in antiphonal style for celebration.

Test the Bridegroom's Strength through Breaking Sheep's Neck

In Erdos area, after a Mongolian bridegroom and his party to escort the bride arrive at the bride's home, they are treated as VIP guests hospitably and all people eat, sing and dance together. A person who is assigned to express god whishes from the bride's side secretly leaves the banquet and leads the bridegroom to the bride's room. After they sit down, bridesmaids take a cooked sheep neck to entertain the bridegroom and ask him to break the neck through the middle with his hands to test his strength. In order to make fun of the bridegroom, the bridesmaids have inserted a red willow stick or an iron stick ingeniously into the marrow of the sheep neck. If the bridegroom is told by someone beforehand, he can see through the trick and first take out the stick and easily break the sheep neck. Some bridegrooms who don't know the secret behind it fail to do so despite much ado. Then bridesmaids may take the opportunity to laugh at the bridegrooms with words of sarcasm.

Strive to be First on the Way for Wedding

On the way for the wedding, both sides strive to be the first to get to the bridegroom's home and rompingly pursue each other. Sometimes, the bride's accompanying party grabs the bridegroom's hat and puts it on the horsewhip tip or throws it to the ground. The bridegroom has no choice but dismount to pick up his cap, thus wasting some of his time. Sometimes, the bridegroom has a good way to delay the bride's accompanying people. He has prepared a feast near his home to treat the bride and her accompanying people, who have to dismount to attend the feast due to great kindness from the bridegroom's side. Then, the bridegroom and his men take the chance of rushing home first.

Kowtow to the Ingle not the Earth and Heaven

The bridegroom's side decides the marriage date via augury by killing chicken. On the wedding day, the bride's parents and the matchmaker(s) send her to the bridegroom's home. The bridegroom's family prepares wine and meat to entertain the guests. After the bride arrives, she and the bridegroom kill a chicken to see whether there is an auspicious sign on the chicken's liver. If there is no auspicious sign, they kill another one until the sign appears. After that, the new couple attend a ceremony in which a bowl of wine with ghee on the bowl edge is put in front of them; they drink a bit themselves and then drink from the other's cups. After the ceremony, the bride and bridegroom tend on the matchmakers and all other guests. Guests from both sides drink, sing, and dance till midnight.