There's a fortune to be made (and being made) on how to deal with the Chinese. They are a peculiar lot, foreigners coming to China to work, for business, or simply for a visit, are told.

Airport stores around the world are lined with books on the subject and given the numbers coming to the country, no wonder they are among the bestseller lists; there are "cultural" classes and seminars for businessmen to help them "acclimatize." Why, there's a whole industry out there catering to the "China market."

One of the first websites I came upon when I did a quick search has five topics on the subject business etiquette and protocol, do's and don'ts, negotiation techniques, travel, and food and drink. The price about 2,000 yuan (US$250).

Some of the gems of wisdom on offer are:

The Chinese are reserved but hospitable, and that they are very proud of their history.

Couldn't you say the same about Arabs, Jews, Christians or Hindus? Or Greeks, Indians, Italians or native Americans?

There's one word that much is made of: guanxi. Now, this is translated in various forms but, loosely, it is networking. What a revelation this must be for the old boys' network in the United Kingdom or the eastern establishment in the United States.

But there's nothing to beat "face." It's as if almost everything in China depends on it.

Mildly amusing, but sometimes bemusing; something you have to do to seal that big deal or just survive the holiday.

All of which would make for great cross-cultural context had it not been for someone who had to pay a heavy price.

I didn't know him but he was a friend of at least three people I know. He came to Beijing on a business trip. And (piecing together the events in retrospect), he had signed a big agreement with his hosts and went out for a celebratory dinner.

Tradition, he presumably thought, dictated he had to down a glass of Chinese spirits every time anyone wanted to say cheers in celebration. And, presumably, there was plenty to celebrate.

Not, presumably, in the habit of putting down a litre or more in an hour or so, he was, presumably, full to the gills. Because he, presumably, thought he had to give "face."

He went back to his hotel room. And died. No presumptions, just fact, the cold, hard, harsh truth of a body cut down in its prime.

If only his etiquette guidebook told him how to say no, he might have lost the deal but saved his life.

Maybe it's time for foreigners to realize that if they don't want to down 60-per-cent proof alcohol at a feverish pace, or eat chicken feet for that matter, to say no. They might be surprised to find that their hosts don't mind. Not all Chinese I know drink. Or eat chicken feet. Or are into "face."

Maybe it's also time for Chinese to say they are not an earthly (though ancient) form of some alien species; that they think, feel, react like any other person. That they do not have to suffix everything with "Chinese characteristics."

They are as peculiar as the Irish drinking dark beer, or worse, Britons drinking warm beer, or the worst, the Americans drinking whisky with an E.

China is (forgive the clich) plugging into the world and vice versa and we should not need adaptors all the time.

Email: ravi@chinadaily.com.cn

(China Daily 05/31/2006 page4)