Four plus three equals a loving family

Jacob's loving family. [Photo provided to chinadaily.com.cn]

“Good is rewarded with good.” The story of Jacob’s family illuminates this dictum that kind people will be rewarded eventually.

Jacob Myers, who is from United States, has been an English teacher in North East Normal University in Changchun for years. He and his wife, Sarah (also an American), have five children, including three adopted ones. They adopted Ephraim, who is from Africa, in 2011. Five years later, they adopted Theo from Shandong province and Tessa from Fujian province in China.

I met them at their house on March 30. My first impression was that this big family is really filled with care and love.

The story began many years ago. When Sarah was a teenager, she was studying in Africa. She and her friend went to visit an orphanage once a weekend. One day when they were playing with kids, Sarah’s friend saw a little boy sitting on the floor crying. He looked sick, scared and disabled. Her friend said, “I wish somebody would go and pick him up, but I’m afraid.” But Sarah picked the boy up. She said that “If everyone is afraid, then who is going to pick him up?” Surprisingly, after she picked him up, the little boy stopped crying. But every time she moved him to another side, he started crying because he thought that she wanted to put him down. Nevertheless, it was time to go; she had to put him down and leave. The little boy cried hysterically, which broke her heart. Sarah told me that she never forgot that boy because it was he who kindled her desire for adoption the first time. Everyone in the world has a dream when he or she is young. After that encounter, one of Sarah’s dreams was to adopt children.

Influenced by Sarah, her husband Jacob started finding out about adoption and decided to adopt children. “Because we both are Christian and believe the Bible, I supported her decision after our first date although I didn’t understand adoption very well at that time,” Jacob said. However, his understanding has grown over the years. “When we were preparing to adopt Theo and Tessa, we were required to take 12 hours of classes. The combination of the classes and five years’ experience of raising my adopted son, Ephraim, helped to better prepare me,” he said. “I also studied more about what the Bible teaches us about adoption and read some books.” Although rearing children is a back-breaking work and big responsibility, Jacob and Sarah think it’s the greatest reward to be a parent. “Good is rewarded with good.” Thus, they have five responsibilities, but also five rewards. They help and support each other physically and mentally, overcoming a number of difficulties and building an affectionate family with five children. And family is the greatest reward ever.

They have lived in China for three years, so they can speak little Chinese that help them communicate with their young Chinese children. And Theo now is learning English, which can help him better adjust to the new family. In addition, they also buy Chinese clothes for them and celebrate the Spring Festival and other Chinese traditional festivals because they don’t want them to forget and lose Chinese culture.

As a parent of five little kids, they love their kids uniquely but equally. They know their children are all different, so they try to learn their love languages. Some need a lot of hugs, while some need praises. They love them in the way they feel loved. What a loving family!

When it comes to the question that how they will reply to their adopted children’s questions about their biological parents, both of them choose to tell them the truth when their children are old enough. They will tell them their parents love them very much. If the children want to find their parents one day, they will do what they can do to help them. They will also encourage their kids to have adoption or care about orphans and those who need help.

It is hard for them to change the world and save all the children, but they have changed three children’s life. These children would have still stayed in orphanage crying alone without help and love if no one else had picked them up and then gave them a warm family. Jacob and Sarah did not merely give them food or clothes, but also created a harbor of refuge those children could rely on mentally.

At the end of our talk, Sarah told me that we cannot underestimate children. Every life is important and exists with reasons and talents. Therefore, why don’t we do our best to help those lovely kids and make contributions to our society?