Streetwise in Manila

Manila's famous Jeepneys, exuberant with bright colors, a funky horn and cheap fares, crisscross the city's main arteries. Photos By Todd Balazovic / China Daily

Left: In the Hobbit House bar, the merry figures serve drinks, crack ribald jokes and even entertain onstage. Right: Local kids are curious and amused that a group of tourists had ventured into their neighborhood.

The Edsa Shangri-La in Mandaluyong City is nestled in lush greenery and tropical sunlight.

Beyond the huge capital's chaotic surface there's a city of quirky charm, reports Lee Hannon.

The color drained from Steve's face, his eyebrows raised and snapped together in a flash of fear. This was the moment I realized achondroplasiaphobia was very real, even though I couldn't pronounce it. It's not every day you discover one of your friends has a genuine, uncontrollable, panic-inducing, heart-thumping fear of dwarfs.

We were sitting together on a sunny terrace overlooking Manila, discussing what to do with our weekend respite from the bitter cold in China, when I first mentioned The Hobbit House.

"Under his care, hundreds of dwarfs have adopted new cultural identities," I intoned, reading a review of the infamous bar that was started by a former US Peace Corps worker themed on J.R.R. Tolkien's fantasy novels.

"They're no longer shunned or even feared as supposed evil spirits, but have become popular characters called hobbits - merry figures who serve drinks, crack ribald jokes and even entertain onstage."

But this was no joking matter. Steve was not amused and demanded we not laugh as he revealed the secret phobia he had held since childhood.

There would be no dwarfs tonight. No small humor. Not even a little attempt at some friendly banter as I bit the inside of my lip, keeping my promise not to laugh while thinking about a myriad incongruous childish gags I could make.

We had arrived in the capital of the Philippines a few hours earlier. Direct flights from Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Xiamen in four hours or less for around 2,000 yuan ($316) make a weekend trip to Manila a quick easy winter getaway for those wanting an escape from China's biting cold.

A mass of more than 600 square kilometers is home to nearly 10 million people who live in the 14 cities and three municipalities that make up what is officially known as Metro Manila.

At first glance Manila is an overbearing, dirty, vociferous megalopolis where the drive from the airport to the hotel can take longer than the flight. The traffic is, quite simply, abominable, as you nudge an inch a minute past streets of nondescript concrete buildings, shopping malls and giant billboards of Cristiano Ronaldo and Paris Hilton. Did I mention overbearing, dirty and vociferous?

There is no real center to Manila, where the locus is really a matter of opinion, necessity and desire. Each area is a city within its own right.

Makati is the central business district, which is home to most of the high-end hotels and shopping malls.

Roxas Boulevard and Manila Bay are also tourist magnets, with a mixture of bars, clubs, hotels and even more shopping malls surrounded by the slums and shantytowns that connect these cities, and house the millions who head to the capital chasing a dream to strike it rich.

For tourists and business people heading to Manila to splurge their riches, the single most important decision is where to stay. Comfort, safety and security should matter as much as location in a city riddled with crime and where it is not unusual to have traffic jams even at 4 in the morning.

The Edsa Shangri-La in Mandaluyong City, one of Manila's flourishing commercial areas, ticks all four boxes for any leisure or business traveler seeking an urban oasis cocooned from the chaos.

Nestled in lush greenery and basking in natural light, the 632-room hotel has four international restaurants, a deli-style caf, a bakery, two lounge bars, a business center and even its own medical center.

After a quick arrival cocktail, we head to dinner at Paparazzi, a well-established Italian restaurant famous for its authentic dishes and chef who was taught to cook by his restaurant family back in Italy.

The cured beef carpaccio with salsa verde, green apple and snow pea sprout salad is simply divine and washed down very nicely with a fine pinot grigio.

My main dish, roasted sea bass with capers, roasted cherry tomatoes, black olives in a white-wine broth, left no room for dessert. But after a brief break, the tiramisu looked too tempting to turn down.

Satiated, loosed by the pinot and with a desire to see this vibrant city at night, we head out into evening with the solemn promise to Steve there will be no little people. He sighed.

It soon became clear there are three types of entertainment in Manila: ladies, girls and lady boys. The city's predilection for sex tourism was something that had not escaped our attention in planning this trip and it was certainly not on our itinerary, but try telling our cab driver who started to resemble Cheech Marin's club welcome in the movie From Dusk Till Dawn.

I attempt to tell him our partners back home would not be impressed and we were just looking for a quiet beer and maybe some live music. He bursts out laughing, raises his thumb as he turns his head to smile at me and flicks on his radio, "Here, listen, live music. Now you go have girl?"

It's worth pointing out there are lots of good bars and nightclubs in areas such as Malate and Makati, but as we learned, most taxi drivers get a kickback from taking their passengers to the tacky bars and will try their luck with newcomers.

The next morning started much healthier with a trip to the hotel's fitness center, sauna and steam before heading to the outdoor swimming pool to catch some sun glistening through the palm trees. It is a great way to rejuvenate and offers a wonderful respite from the chaos of the city.

There are countless day tours to any one of the city's historic attractions highlighting its plight, including Fort Santiago, Rizal's Execution Site, Casa Manila, Palacio del Gobernador, Manila Cathedral, San Augustin Church, and the former headquarters of General Douglas MacArthur.

After a decent poolside cheeseburger we decide to ditch the taxis, tour guides and maps and jump onto one of the city's famous Jeepneys and see where we end up.

Emblazoned with bright color, a funky horn and cheap fares, the famous giant Jeeps, hundreds of which crisscross the city's main arteries, dropped us off as far away from any notable attraction possible and smack in the middle of one of Manila's poorest slums.

Everywhere we looked people stared. Some curious, others a little more sinister, or perhaps slightly amused that a group of tourists had dared venture into their neighborhood.

But as we advanced further into the shantytown, it was a warm awakening to real day-to-day life in Manila. Nobody was indoors, everyone, entire families were out on the street, talking, drinking, and playing board games.

It was like stepping into another world depicted in old novels where the shared poverty had created a strong community. One house on the street had a TV and it was placed outside for everyone to enjoy. Huge groups of children chased us along the street asking for their photo to be taken.

As we approached a crossroads in the slum and considered continuing deeper into the maze of concrete buildings and tin shacks, an old woman stopped us and warned us to be careful. "There's bad man around here, don't stay too long," she said pointing us toward the path that leads to the road.

It was wise advice we decided to follow, part of an amazing experience to see true Manila up close, real and away from the flag-waving tour guides. But the old woman was right to be concerned and it did not escape our notice that cab drivers locked all the doors every time we entered their cars.

Our wanderlust had left us feeling satisfied and courageous, so it felt like the most opportune moment to perform an intervention and get Steve to face his fear of small people.

The Hobbit House, a couple of streets back from the palm tree-lined, rubbish-strewn Manila Bay, is a medium-sized bar with a stage and a lot of little staffers, who have to walk up steps at the bar to collect drink orders for customers.

The harrowed look on Steve's face, hilariously illuminated by the fake smile he was attempting as his towering frame meandered through the bar, will stay with me forever.

Seated, Steve outstretched his trembling hand, knocked his drink over the table, stood up, looking like he had seen his own ghost, trembled, "I've gotta go," and beat a hasty retreat to the door.

His pace accelerated as the little waitress chased after him shouting, "You haven't paid for your beer!" At this point, we stepped up and said we would settle the bill, adding, "Don't worry, he has a little problem."

Hobbits aside, the city is a great place to spend a day or two to capture the frenzied pace of the capital, and that is all you need to explore the key sites. For most it is a transit point to the paradise beaches of the south that make up one of the world's largest archipelago.

And as long as you follow the Filipino proverb bahala na - Whatever will be, will be - Manila will leave you with a smile.

Contact the writer at leehannon@chinadaily.com.cn.