Friendship redefined in era of 'zero-sugar' socializing

Band of brothers

Su Tu, a brand designer in her early 30s from Guangdong, values deep, lasting connections over surface-level interactions.

She takes inspiration from six famous singers — Chen Chusheng, Su Xing, Wang Yuexin, Zhang Yuan, Wang Zhengliang, and Lu Hu.

The entertainers, who first connected during the 2007 singing competition Super Boy, have navigated the highs and lows of fame over the past 15 years, including moments of financial struggle. Despite the challenges, they humorously refer to themselves as "once jobless singers now reemployed". They star in the reality TV show Friends where they live together in a picturesque countryside villa in Qingshanpu town, Changsha, Hunan province. The show, as well as other shows Welcome to the Mushroom House and Go For Happiness, captures the singers' camaraderie, candid conversations and impromptu musical performances.

"Trust, understanding and shared experiences form a stable bond. These six close friends prove it; through fame, decline, and rebuilding, they've stayed connected for 18 years. That's true mutual understanding," said Su.

Her fandom has also helped her social circle grow.

As a fan and illustrator, she created artwork capturing the singers' journey — from behind-the-scenes moments to a cover image for the song for their 2024 Spring Festival Gala debut. Su even designed the poster for the show Go For Happiness Season 3.

"I have met so many people who share this emotion — not just online, but in real life too," Su said of the example set by the singers' friendships.

"We don't have to be in sync every day. We're like different instruments in an ensemble — independent, but ready to jam anytime," she said.

Su now prioritizes "long-cycle" relationships by watching how the six friends support each other through career droughts and personal challenges — whether it's recommending gigs, teasing each other ruthlessly, or quietly offering backup vocals.

Some friends might become silent as the years progress, but true friendship never ends, she said. "They've taught me that good friends don't always need to agree or talk every day, but they show up when it matters. They forgive easily. And they make memories together on purpose," said Su.

She continues to juggle her life, design work, and ever-expanding community of fellow fans while her sense of connection has deepened.

"Maybe as we age, the people who accompany us most are our buddies, but those who don't accompany us all the time can still be lifelong friends," said Su.

Beyond the 'bestie'

In Beijing, 38-year-old Zhang Rui transformed her view of friendship from one of constant emotional sharing into making more functional, purpose-driven connections after leaving her human resources job in 2015 to become a full-time homemaker and mother of two.

"In the office, my life had structure — projects, performance reviews, lunches with colleagues. Friendships were naturally built into that work rhythm as we'd support each other through deadlines; that bond was everything," said Zhang.

But once she left the workforce, she noticed a gradual shift in her relationships. Without regular office interaction, many of her professional connections faded away.

"It wasn't anyone's fault. Life just moved on. I suddenly found myself alone at home with a baby, while others were busy in meetings or on business trips," said Zhang.

Motherhood created a new social environment of family-related WeChat groups, school forums, and weekend playdates.

"The conversations now are all about kids — what classes to take, where to go during the holidays, which summer camps are worth the price. It's practical and necessary, but it's not the same kind of friendship where you share dreams or late-night frustrations," said Zhang.

Longing for a deeper connection, she began yoga classes in 2019. What began as a desire for exercise became a lifeline. At the yoga studio, she met women in similar life stages — mothers, freelancers and career-leavers — all seeking space to reconnect with themselves.

"Yoga is my escape — the one hour I can forget being a mom and wife and just breathe. We laugh, and talk about food, aging and body image. It's light, but it's real," said Zhang.

Her love of art and live music has also brought unexpected companionship. With a small group of friends, she attends gallery shows and concerts.

"Listening to my favorite band or standing before a painting with someone who understands — I'm just me," she said.

However, even as her social life became more diversified, Zhang recently dealt with painful silence from a close friend, she once considered a "soulmate".

"There was no fight, it was just silence. We used to talk every day. Suddenly, she stopped replying. I kept wondering what I had done wrong," said Zhang.

This difficult experience pushed her to rethink the idea of friendship. "When I was younger, friendship meant constant contact, sharing everything. Now I see that real friendship is about showing up when it counts," she said.

Zhang said she now embraces a "functional approach" to social relationships.

"I don't need to be everything to everyone. It's OK to have friends I hike with; friends I talk about parenting with; and friends I dance with at music festivals. Each of them reflects a part of me," said Zhang.

Balancing motherhood, her relationship, and her own needs, Zhang believes she is building a new social landscape shaped by purpose and sincerity.

"True friendship isn't how often you talk; but respect, quiet loyalty, and freedom to be authentic — even in silence," said Zhang.