Friendship redefined in era of 'zero-sugar' socializing

The walk of life

While many young people prefer lighter, more flexible personal connections, middle-aged adults often embrace a quieter, practical approach to companionship.

"Friendship is built on trust from shared experiences. I no longer expect too much. After the age of 30, I realized friendship should be calm and light, like water," said Wang Jia, a freelance exhibitions curator in his 40s based in Shanghai.

Wang described himself as someone who once had deeper emotional connections with friends, especially during his youth and early career years.

"Back then, we shared everything — dreams, heartbreaks, late night talks. Now, most of my social circle comes from work, and we rarely touch on our personal lives," said Wang, who noted that the demands of adulthood — career, marriage, and parenting — naturally push friendships into the background.

As life progresses, friendships often quietly fade away without conflict, as people drift in different directions.

"I learned to turn inward, to find companionship within myself. The more I did that, the less urgent friendship felt," said Wang. He even has a motto he often tells his daughter — "People always leave".

Still, the power of friendship can surprise. About a year ago, Wang found his high school yearbook. The handwritten notes and drawings from old classmates felt like time travel. A sketch by his best friend imagining Wang's future moved him deeply.

"Seeing what my classmates wrote, especially the drawing from my best friend imagining who I'd become, made me cry. It felt like a door opened, reminding me of who I was and who I might still become," said Wang.

He believes this shows even long-dormant friendships can offer moments of clarity and strength. In today's fast-paced, digital world, Wang believes that friendship has become more fragmented.

"The kind of friendship I value might seem rare now. But maybe it's just that the new generation sees it differently," he said.

Wang values enduring friendship, but also understands the rise of casual dazi companionship for lunch or going to the gym. "My marriage is like a long-term dazi partnership — we team up for life," he joked.

Ultimately, Wang sees friendship not as a destination but as companionship on life's journey.

"It's nice to have someone walk beside you, but you still have to know where you're going. A friend can share part of the journey and offer comfort, but they can't walk the road for you," said Wang.