37年前，我滿懷惆悵揮別家人，開始大學生活；今天，我的小兒子上大學，與他告別，同樣讓我無比傷感和不舍，因為我知道家不會再像從前那樣……

By Debbie Galant

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When it comes to the nuclear family, I’m hopelessly sentimental.[1] I spent the whole summer before I went off to college mourning[2] the fact that our family would never be the same. If my parents were feeling the same way, they hid it well, or at least I didn’t notice, and my younger brother was downright hostile to my proactive nostalgia.[3] “Get over it,” he said simply.

Then, about two hours after they had unpacked the car and trudged upstairs with my boxes of possessions, I dismissed my family with a single wave.[4] My mourning more than accomplished, I was ready to launch into[5] my new life.

Thirty-seven years later, I did exactly the same thing. I spent months stewing[6] in the sadness I would feel when I dropped my youngest child off at college. Then, when we rolled onto campus, and were welcomed by a crowd of vuvuzela-tooting kids in crazy costumes, I felt my mouth involuntarily assume the shape of a smile.[7] After all, we were dropping our son off at a nice Northeastern liberal arts college—not Afghanistan.[8]

Colleges these days coddle boomer parents in a way that was unthinkable in the '70s when I went off to college.[9] My husband and I received parent orientation schedules and maps at check-in, and were invited to a day’s worth of events, including a barbecue and a big tent reception,[10] before we were expected to say our goodbyes. There was even a post-goodbye session with members of the college counseling staff on “navigating the road ahead.”[11] At my college drop-off, my parents weren’t offered so much as a cup of coffee.

The parents dropping off their freshmen last weekend also coddled one another. I think I heard the word “bittersweet”[12] more than the word “dorm.” There was a hierarchy of loss, with parents dropping off oldest children getting a certain amount of deference and parents dropping off their youngest getting even more.[13]

Yet somehow, even before the tent party was officially over, I was ready to leave. We posed for one last picture with our college boy, allowed him to walk us to the car and decided to skip the “navigating the road ahead” workshop in favor of getting on the actual road.[14] It was, after all, a four-hour drive.

Although we took the express route[15] up, we took the slow road home. On the way out of town, we looked in some little shops. About an hour later, we stopped at a farm stand[16] for fresh corn. Three hours out, we pulled over[17] to a local restaurant and had a leisurely dinner. And right before getting home, I asked if we could stop at the grocery store for my favorite specialty soda drink, and my husband indulged me.[18] Was this a sign of aging, this leisurely pace, or was it simply the luxury of only having to negotiate with one other person?

The whole evening we eyed each other, my husband and I, for signs of imminent breakdown.[19] I expected it more from him than from myself. After all, he was the one who had that whole Y-chromosome[20] thing in common with our son. He was going to be the one to miss the baseball chatter[21]. Besides, despite my proclivity[22] for advance sadness, I’m not much of a crier.

In bed, later that first night, the tears suddenly poured out—of me. He’s such good company, our son. Smart, funny, extraordinarily well-mannered. It wasn’t, in the end, about the splitting of the nuclear family or the fact that this milestone advanced us inexorably toward the end.[23] It was about missing a good pal[24].

Vocabulary

1. nuclear family:（包括父母和子女的）核心家庭，小家庭；sentimental: 傷感的，多愁善感的。

2. mourn: 感到悲傷（或遺憾）。

3. downright: 十分，完全；be hostile to: 對……有敵意；proactive: [心理]前攝的，提前發生的；nostalgia: 懷舊，對往事的懷戀。

4. unpack: 從（車上）拿下行李；trudge: 費力地走；possessions: 財物；dismiss: 打發走，讓離開。

5. launch into: 開始投入。

6. stew: 擔心，不安。

7. 后來，當我們駛入校園，受到一群身著奇裝異服、吹著嗚嗚祖拉的孩子們的熱烈歡迎時，我發覺我的嘴角情不自禁地露出一絲微笑。vuvuzela: 嗚嗚祖拉，一種塑料喇叭，南非人在各種體育比賽中特有的加油工具，如2010年南非足球世界杯上這種喇叭就風靡一時，當然制造出的噪音也非同一般。

8. liberal arts: 文科；Afghanistan: 阿富汗，西南亞國家，戰亂頻仍。

9. coddle: 悉心照料；boomer parent: 指在嬰兒潮時期出生、現已為人父母的人。

10. parent orientation: 新生家長說明會，幫助家長更好地了解學校環境等；check-in: 登記簽到處；barbecue: 戶外燒烤。tent reception：設在帳篷內的招待會。

11. counseling staff: 輔導員；navigate: 確定方向。

12. bittersweet: 苦樂參半的，又苦又甜的。

13. hierarchy: 分級，分類；deference: 尊重，尊敬。

14. pose: 擺姿勢；skip: 略過；workshop: 說明會。

15. express route: 快道，高速。

16. stand: 攤子。

17. pull over: 開到路邊。

18. grocery store: 雜貨店，食品店；specialty: 特制的；indulge: 容許，放縱。

19. imminent: 即將發生的；breakdown:（精神）崩潰，衰竭。

20. Y-chromosome: Y染色體，性染色體的一種。

21. chatter: 喋喋不休的閑聊。

22. proclivity: 傾向。

23. milestone: 里程碑；inexorably: 無情地，冷酷地。

24. pal: 朋友，伙伴。

（來源：英語學習雜志）