D'Artagnan: Ah. There you are. Shall we get to it?

Athos: So, are you eager to meet your maker?

D'Artagnan: I have other appointments.

Athos: You'll miss them, I'm afraid.

D'Artagnan: Well, I'll try my best to be on time.

Athos: My seconds.

Porthos: You! You're fighting this rascal?

D'Artagnan: My appointments. One o'clock. Two o'clock.

Athos: How long have you been in Paris?

D'Artagnan: Arrived this morning.

Athos: You have been busy.

D'Artagnan: Patience is not one of my virtues.

Porthos: Well, neither are good manners.

D'Artagnan: Wait for your turn, old man.

Porthos: What would you like me to put on your headstone? "Little shit"?

D'Artagnan: D'Artagnan.

Athos: D'Artagnan. I'm Athos. This is Porthos and Aramis.

D'Artagnan: The Three Musketeers. I've heard of you. From my father, a musketeer himself. In fact, I came to Paris to be one of you.

Aramis: I'm afraid you're a little late.

D'Artagnan: What happened?

Athos: Oh, a bad mission. Budget cuts. Cardinal, progress. Take your pick.

Aramis: Well, then, welcome to Paris. Pity we'll have to kill you.

D'Artagnan: Well, if I can't become a musketeer, I might as well fight one. Or three.

Porthos: Kill him already. It's lunchtime and I'm starving.

Jussac: Halt!

Athos: Jussac.

Jussac: Well, well, well. How the mighty have fallen. Dueling in defiance of the edicts?

Athos: You got tired of rolling peddlers for spare change?

Jussac: Now...

Man: Seal the square!

Jussac: Surrender your weapons and come along with us.

Man: Seal it off!

Jussac: Unless of course, you would rather resist.

Porthos: New plan. Kill the boy, kick their asses, and then go get some lunch. I could do with some exercise.

Jussac: You were saying?

Porthos: On the other hand, discretion is the better part of valor.

D'Artagnan: You're the musketeers.

Athos: Wrong. We were the musketeers. Now we're just...us. Rochefort.

Aramis: Shall we?

Captain Rochefort: Finish them off.

Athos: Let's even the odds.

D'Artagnan: Enjoying the show?

Jussac: You!

Constance: Watch out!

D'Artagnan: You didn't answer my question.

Constance: Are you always this cocky?

D'Artagnan: Only on Tuesdays...and whenever beautiful women are involved.

Jussac: Damn you!

D'Artagnan: Can't you see we're trying to have a conversation? What is your name?

Constance: Constance.

D'Artagnan: Constance. Sounds very steadfast.

Constance: A quality you seem to know little about.

D'Artagnan: Oh, I beg to differ. Deep down, I am a hopeless romantic. Back for more?

People: Musketeers! Musketeers! Musketeers!

Athos: I'd forgotten what it feels like.

Aramis: We all have.

D'Artagnan: The name is d'Artagnan.

Constance: You must come from a very small town.

D'Artagnan: How did you know?

Constance: Lines like yours might actually work there. This is Paris. I suggest you stick to swordplay. In the battle of wits, you, sir, are unarmed.

Porthos: She's right, lad. The ladies of Paris are infinitely more complicated. They have a thousand ways of saying no, and only some of them mean yes.

Aramis: I hate to ruin the mood, but they will be back.

Athos: And unless you wish to fight an entire army.

Porthos: Elsewhere.