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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

人類起源的不同版本

2011-05-13 08:59
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

上學第一天

2011-05-12 08:52
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?” The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

2011-05-11 08:54
Finally the little girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?” “He sure did honey, a long time ago,” replies her grandpa. “Well, did God make me?” asks the little girl. “Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago,” answers her grandpa.

上帝不見了

2011-05-10 08:39
Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face, “WHERE IS GOD?”

如果約拿下地獄

2011-05-09 09:03
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.

罰款

2011-05-06 09:40
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.

醉酒測試

2011-05-05 09:50
“Sir,” the cop says. “Why do you have all those knives?” “They’re for my juggling act,” the man says. “I don’t believe you,” says the cop. “Prove it.”

好心的律師

2011-05-03 10:08
One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass. He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass?"

皺巴巴的睡衣

2011-04-29 10:42
A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.

我知道我丈夫在哪

2011-04-28 12:32
The third woman says, "I always know where my husband is." "Impossible!" both women say, "He has you completely fooled!" "Oh no," says the woman. "I'm a widow."

大頭強尼

2011-04-27 10:21
Johnny comes back from school crying and says, “Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head.”

婚姻咨詢

2011-04-26 10:39
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

有頭有尾

2011-04-25 13:07
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

忘年戀

2011-04-21 13:47
It was a May-December marriage, and as the old man climbed into bed for the first time with his new bride, he asked, “Did your mother tell you what to do on your wedding night?”

特工的考驗

2011-04-20 10:56
After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists -- two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

你的名字是什么

2011-04-19 14:24
One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, “Please don”t be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed, after all these years. What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can’t.”

科學家和青蛙

2011-04-18 10:59
There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, “Frog with four feet, jumps four feet.”

看看我有什么不同

2011-04-13 09:55
“Do you notice anything unusual about me?” he asked the first candidate. “Yes. You have no ears.” He quickly eliminated the first candidate.

冰箱老公

2011-04-12 10:55
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband — he thinks he's a refrigerator!"

賭場中的女人

2011-04-11 09:26
The woman not understanding the rules says, “I have no idea what number to play?” A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 24.

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